Humor for the day

[Douglas Robinson]

I saw this on another forum and thought it was great. As the poster cribbed it from somewhere else he had no problem with further posting so here goes. One caveat, this is just a joke and does is not intended to denegrate postal workers, airline employees or employees of BORGs. It is JUST a joke:

Pending Legislation - AWNA Act
Washington, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. "Studies indicate that roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in Society," said California Senator Barbara Boxer, "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing, let alone the ability to actually do it."
In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. The Government Accounting Office (that public watchdog of extraneous and irrelevant facts) estimates that approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S employer of Persons of Inability. Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At the state government level, virtually all Departments of Motor Vehicles have demonstrated excellent records of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the new Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, all with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance to nearly 10 percent of the population. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees, and true (not feigned) incompetence will, at last, get the recognition it so richly deserves.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?" or "What day is it?"
"As a Non-abled person, one can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan due to her inability to remember "rightey tightey, lefty loosey". "This new law should be real well for peoples like me", Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): "As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."
Watch your mail for the registration forms, due to be mailed out as soon as the bill is signed. Early approval by the White House is expected since the bill doubles the current Presidential Retirement Stipend.

[Travis Porter]

I thought we already had that here in the US?

[Mike Davis]

Are you sure this is a joke?

[FredP]

whooo hoooo!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna be able to get a real JOB!!!!! WIFF BENNIFITS...........

[Glennbear]

Good one Doug

[JimmyC]

It's too long and drawn out, must have come from another lawyer.

Jimmy