Blast gate actuators

[Jim Murphy]

Well, AlanILW has scored the pneumatic actuators and soon, I hope, we'll be redirected to UTube to see them work. So I've decided to power up my blast gates.

I've given this serious consideration. I've ruminated about (oh, I'm sorry, thought about) this for a long time. It's time to jettison my Luddite tendencies and move forward.

STEAM!

Yes, the same technology that opened the West. Golden spike and all that. San Francisco and all it stands for today. Ker-chuff, ker-chuff, ker-chuff, ker-churr <whoooooooo...>.

Why steam?

1. Tested and proven. 200 years of success.
2. Pollutes the natural way, by burning mistakes.
3. Causes global warming and aggravates enviro-persons.
3A. Converts drinking water into steam, which cannot be imbibed (sorry, drunken... no... drinked. NO. Draught. Well, let's stick with imbibed) but is returned to the atmosphere and comes back as rain. Which we all need. Time to wax your cast iron, girls.
4. Sexy sounds during operation, as the piston to and fro (in and out) awakens stuff in your brain and makes your wife more attractive (temporarily).
5. Smells great when you stoke the fire.
6. Get rid of your mistakes in the fire.
7. Can power a steam box for bending wood.
8. Can heat the shop.
9. Can make corn likker. (Well, maybe. The boiling point of the "runoff" is less than the boiling point of water, but it may be easier to visit the local state run monopoly)
10. With proper insurance and a little accident, may permit a rebuild with completely new Powermatic Gold equipment. <Bribe your insurance agent first. The runoff from #9 may work well.>

Now, where's my kitchen matches?

[Travis Porter]

Have you been sampling the corn likker tonight?

[Bas]

Two, maybe three years of exposure to dust, glue, and finishes, and I will achieve Jim's level of mastery of completely coherent nonsense.

I shall be patient. For, as lotus flower flutters in the wind, shall wisdom come to pass, like droplet breaking surface on pond.

(FINALLY! I have found The Place Of Wonderfully Weird People. WITH POWER TOOLS!)

[DaveO]

Dave

[McRabbet]

As Rod Serling would say "...and you've entered the Twilight Zone..."

[Gofor]

According to the environmental pundits, bovine flatulence contains enough methane to endanger the world as we know it. Perhaps you could utilize this resource to epitomize your endeavors to optimize the latent qualities of that precipitate from the extra-saturated atmospheric continuum and thus mitigate its deleterious effects on humanity's economical future potential and ultimate opportunities to profilgate upon the available terra-firma.

Oops. Guess we're in a drought: No rain, No hay, No cow F&rts. Nevermind...

Go

[Glennbear]

NEWS FLASH!!!
The Journal of Industrial Medicine has announced that studies of surveyors have shown that prolonged exposure to laser backscatter from transits has been shown to cause wild hallucinations and profound delusional thoughts. All persons are advised to watch individuals in related fields carefully.

[Bas]

Perhaps you could simply train some squirrels instead to open and close the gates:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWU0bfo-bSY

Just have them watch Star Wars for a few hours, and they'll know what to do.

[JackLeg]

Jim, are you now, or have you ever been an attorney? Prose as you pontificate can only come from someone with the ability to take a "single drop and expand it into 50 gallons!"



Keep writing, Brother, it keeps life interesting.

[woodArtz]

Y'all are killin' me...